CAMPAIGN SPEECH TRANSLATOR

 

Copyright 2000, 2015 by Jim Hull

(Please cite the author if you quote from this work)

 

During campaign season, sometimes it's hard to tell what politicians really mean when they make speeches. Wouldn't it be great to know -- to really know -- what they meant every time they opened their mouths?

I've devised a simple Campaign Speech Translator. It will translate anything uttered, by any politician, into simple English. It's easy to use! Simply find the candidate's party affiliation on the list below and read the accompanying translation. Before long you'll understand everything they say, no matter what they say!

You're welcome. And remember to vote!

 

CAMPAIGN SPEECH TRANSLATOR

DEMOCRAT -- "I'll be needing your wallet."

REPUBLICAN -- "My people can do what they please, but yours can't."

GREEN/Nader -- "STEP AWAY FROM THE TREES!!"

REFORM/Buchanan -- "Ich bin ein American!"

REFORM/Other -- "Hey, what happened to our matching funds?"

LIBERTARIAN -- "Leave us alone and nobody gets hurt!"

PEACE AND FREEDOM -- "Where have all the flowers gone?"

AMERICAN INDEPENDENT -- "Elvis is ALIVE!!"

SOCIALIST -- "Bill Gates must RETIRE!"

COMMUNIST -- "Bill Gates must DIE!"

 

All other parties failed to meet funding minimums, so they are omitted from this list.

 

 

If you find any part of this work quoted without credit to the author, please let him know! Thank you. jimhull@jimhull.com

 

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