WORLD'S THINNEST BOOKS

 

Copyright 2001, 2007, 2015 by Jim Hull

(Please cite the author if you quote from this work)

 

You may have seen a list -- a mere jest, of course -- of the "world's thinnest books." Silly titles they were, like POLITICAL HONESTY by Bill Clinton, or SPOTTED OWL RECIPES by the Sierra Club, or THE WILD YEARS by Al Gore, or MY FAVORITE PHOTOGRAPHS by Helen Keller. Clearly, these are attempts, however feeble, at humor.

I got curious, though, and did research of my own, hoping to unearth more such titles. Lo and behold, I found several extremely thin books that no one had thought of -- er, discovered. Here they are:

 

MY CRUSADE FOR FAMILY VALUES by Eminem

 

HOW TO WIN THE PRESIDENCY IN A LANDSLIDE by George W. Bush

 

HOW TO TRANSLATE YARDS INTO METERS by Jet Propulsion Laboratory

 

FOOD SAFETY IS OUR FIRST CONCERN by English Tourism Council

 

WHY MONOPOLIES ARE BAD by Bill Gates

 

FIGHT FAIR! by Mike Tyson

 

THE CASE FOR TERM LIMITS by Strom Thurmond

 

BUCKLE UP by Dale Earnhardt

 

TAXATION MADE EASY by King George III

 

YOU CAN BE HUMBLE IN HOLLYWOOD by James Cameron

 

WHY I LIKE DIFFERENT CULTURES by Adolph Hitler

 

MARRIAGE IS ETERNAL by Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman

 

WHY WE SHOULD SUPPORT PUBLIC DISSENT by Joseph Stalin

 

HOW TO LOOK GOOD IN PUBLIC LIFE by Bill Clinton

 

LET'S WRITE CONCISELY by Stephen King

 

IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO MEET THE PUBLIC by President William McKinley

 

ERADICATING HOMOSEXUALITY by Oscar Wilde

 

PEACE MADE EASY by Ehud Barak & Yassir Arafat

 

HOW TO BOND FOR LIFE by Elizabeth Taylor

 

EVERYONE LOVES A PRESIDENT by John F. Kennedy

 

ANGER MANAGEMENT by Coach Bobby Knight

 

HOW I BROUGHT DEMOCRACY TO THE PHILIPPINES by Ferdinand Marcos

 

MY VISITS TO THE PLASTIC SURGEON by Barbra Streisand

 

HOW TO WRITE A SHORT NOVEL by James Michener

 

LET'S RELAX AND HAVE MORE FUN by Jimmy Carter

 

MY FAVORITE OPERAS by Elvis Presley

 

DETROIT: BOOMTOWN OF AMERICA by Detroit Chamber of Commerce

 

ARGUMENTS FOR CELIBACY by Wilt Chamberlain

 

JAR-JAR BINKS, CINEMA'S GREATEST COMEDIAN by George Lucas

 

EXERCISE IS ALL YOU NEED by Jim Fixx

 

THE POWER OF THE PARDON IS OVERUSED by Bill Clinton

 

HERE'S TO A DRUG-FREE AMERICA by Robert Downey, Jr.

 

DATING TIPS by Pope John-Paul II

 

PROTECTING OUR GOVERNMENT WORKERS by Timothy McVeigh

 

TEETOTALER'S HANDBOOK by Dean Martin

 

EMBRACING FEMINISM by Navy Tailhook Society

 

L.A. DODGERS, TEAM OF THE CENTURY by Rupert Murdoch

 

TWO TERMS IS ENOUGH by Franklin D. Roosevelt

 

TURN THE OTHER CHEEK by Sean "Puffy" Combs

 

INTEGRITY IN SPORTS by Utah Olympics Committee

 

PRESERVING OUR SCULPTURAL HERITAGE by Taliban Arts Commission


PRESERVING OUR ARCHAEOLOGICAL HERITAGE by ISIS


HOW I ACHIEVED GLORY WITH THE LAKERS by Donald Sterling


DEMOCRACY IS BEST by Vladimir Putin


LET'S BE HONEST ABOUT OUR ANCESTORS by Ben Affleck

 

 

If you find any part of this work quoted without credit to the author, please let him know! Thank you. jimhull@jimhull.com

 

TALK TO THE AUTHOR!

But caveat auctor: Jim reserves the right to put your little screed on his Web site! (And he has no dignity about this, so be careful what you say...)

 

AND READERS REPLY WITH THEIR OWN DISCOVERIES

 

"The book I found is called 'The Power of Postive Pessimism (or Failure Through Prayer).' It was a pretty thin book and had some very sage advice." -- P. Chisholm

 

(Return to HUMOR!)

 

THE ARTS!   CITY LIFE!   PHILOSOPHY!   POLITIX!   NATURE!   HUMOR!

About Jim Hull

 

(Return to Home Page)