SWAMI JIMBO GIFT DRIVE
Copyright © 1993, 1997, 2015 by Jim
(Please cite the author if
you quote from this work)
Swami Jimbo Ashram
December 2, 1993
Mr. Suzanne Whull
Dear Mr. Whull:
Once again it's time to ponder the
holiday gift-buying problem. Yet why think of it as a
problem when Sri Swami Suchabanana Rama Jimbo Propaganda
takes the worry out of shopping with his exclusive
mail-order wish list?
Our records indicate that, thanks to
your generosity, Mr. Whull, Swami is now able to access
advanced computer technology that will improve and simplify
his efforts on behalf of humanity. But Swami now realizes
that there are one or two electronic toys --er, marvels that
would ease even further the burdens of communicating with
his legions of followers. Those items top Swami Jimbo's wish
list this year.
As you read through the following,
consider carefully how each suggestion represents an
opportunity for you to contribute lovingly to others
(especially Swami). Don't forget also that you receive
karmic "brownie points" every time you contribute. This
should help speed your own journey through the wilderness of
Without further ado, here are the
suggestions, featuring the patented mail-order wish list :
- CD-ROM. This technical marvel
attaches to any Macintosh computer and increases the
storage/retrieval capacity four hundred-fold!! Swami
wishes to peruse the many CDs available that contain
innumerable articles, books, illustrations and sound bites
on a large number of topics. This will help Swami increase
his knowledge of the physical plane of existence, which in
turn will enable him to more fully assist others in their
searches for contentment. Of course, your gift would also
be available to the person from whom Swami borrows the
computer he currently uses. No doubt that person would
benefit as well from the many CDs available on such
diverse topics as history, culture, feminism, etc. $300
- FAX COPIER. The latest in technology,
this machine would help Swami communicate with his
devotees and copy documents of interest. More and more of
his disciples own fax machines: instant transmittal of
papers would come in quite handy, while the copy function
would enable Swami to reproduce articles he would like to
retain for his own files. Very useful! $250 and up.
- FROM THE BIG BANG TO PLANET X: The
50 Most-Asked Questions About the Universe . . . and
Their Answers, by Terence Dickinson. Part of Swami's
continuing education. $13.
- "ROAD CONSTRUCTION AHEAD." A
children's video about building highways; also suitable
for adults. First of a new series of popular educational
videos. Appeals to the kid in Swami. Focus Video
- CHIEF JOSEPH ROBE BLANKET. Swami
needs to keep warm on chilly nights. Color choice: blue. Eddy
Bauer catalog, p. 64, $150.
- LAMINATED CALIFORNIA MAP. A Raven
map. Accurate, colorful, informative. Real Goods
catalog, p. 9, $49.
- BRIGHT EYES HANDS-FREE FLASHLIGHT.
Swami can do fix-it at night! Real Goods catalog,
p. 31, $15.
- POCKET SURVIVAL TOOL. Looks pretty
useful to Swami! Real Goods catalog, p. 31, $45.
- SOLAR CAR VENTILATOR. Attaches to
window, keeps Swami's car cool when parked in the sun.
Helps Swami to stay collected and meditative, rather than
hot and bothered. Hard-to-Find Tools catalog, p.
- AUTO SEAT CUSHION. Swami's driver
seat is getting worn out; here's one way to protect what's
left of the fabric and give lumbar support to the
Bodhisattva's back. Hard-to-Find Tools catalog,
blue, p. 25, $45.
- POCKET WRENCH. Hard-to-Find
catalog, p. 50, $10.
- SIX-BIT SCREWDRIVER. Hard-to-Find
catalog, p. 50, $12.50.
- 6-IN-1 WONDER TOOL. Hard-to-Find
catalog, p. 50, $15.
- MULTI-TOOL HAMMER/SCREWDRIVER. Hard-to-Find
catalog, p. 51, $10.
- FLYING TIGER LEATHER JACKET. Swami
loves his black leather jacket, but if he had his
druthers, he'd own a brown fighter-pilot jacket, too!
Tall, insulated, brown, weathered or original style. L.L.
Bean catalog, p. 69, $255/$265.
- BEADED BELT. Swami hasn't had one of
these since he was a kid! And he sure needs extra belts to
hold up his pants, being as how he's so skinny and all
...... Specify size 34. L.L. Bean catalog, p. 91,
- PRESIDENTIAL ROCKING CHAIR. Swami is
eternal, of course, but his body is temporary, and as it
ages it enjoys the simple comforts of life, like this
lovely rocker. L.L. Bean catalog, p. 240, $225
plus $30 shipping. Cushions, $39.50.
- BEAVER STATE BLANKET. Pretty! Perhaps
an alternative to the Chief Joseph blanket mentioned
above, it's in the L.L. Bean catalog, p. 244,
- A LOT OF MONEY. Sri Swami Jimbo is
wealthy in bliss and enlightenment. However, while he
visits this level of reality immediately beneath the
Astral plane, he must deal with practicalities. Therefore,
generous contributions to the Swami Jimbo Ashram, Dude
Ranch, Fat Farm and Auto Retread Tire Center are always
greatly appreciated! Remember: the money you give will
return to you many-fold in the form of good karma!
. . . As you can see, there are so many
ways to contribute to the Ashram, choices for every taste
and pocketbook! This is by no means an exhaustive list of
Swami's needs. Heavens, no! But these are the most important
that come to Swami's mind as the season of good cheer
approaches. On Christmas Day, Swami looks forward to finding
something from you under the tree!
Meanwhile, may the peace of the season
be upon you and yours, and may all your instant karma be
Ma Anand Foofoo,
Secretary to S. S. Jimbo
4 catalogs enclosed and bookmarked
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